It is OK to be Single! I AM COMPLETE AS I AM!

Two and half years ago I was in the process of writing my Preliminary Papers to be accepted to the College for Officer Training to become a Salvation Army Officer. On that paper was a question that I remember well: If you are single, are you content about being single? Will you be content throughout officership?

At the time I was teaching in the best place in the world, Makkovik, Labrador and I answered without hesitating, “Yes, I am content being single.” And then at that time I was very content about being single. I felt alive as me. I was Rebecca Pretty: a music teacher, a person who loves God, a person called by God to minister in the Salvation Army, a person who loves living in the Aboriginal Culture, a person who loves winter, loves dogs, loves music, loves children. At the time when I signed that Preliminary paper in June 2006, knowing the rules and regulations of the Salvation Army regarding marriages, I was very content with being single. I was happy to be Rebecca Pretty. Even my remaining year in Makkovik, I was content to single. I loved what I was doing – I loved everything about it and when I was accepted to Training College in March 2007, I truly felt a peace that passeth all understanding. I was content to be a single woman of God. I was ok with that!

But recently, about two months ago to be exact, one day I suddenly became very discontent about being single. It was unexpected to me, I did not expect to feel what I was feeling. A feeling of loneliness swept over me suddenly as I sat in a particular place. Although, throughout the summer, I did have fears of single officership – “Will I be able to do this on my own?” “Will I enjoy living on my own?” However, in the summer at Wascana Park in Regina I found myself in the park laying these fears at Jesus’ feet and felt good about it after that part even though, fears would creep in occasionally. But two months ago I never really expected to feel the way I did and it took me by surprise with the way I felt.

For the last two months have struggled with the whole idea of single officership. I have wondered time and time again if I will ever really be content while single. I have cried! I have bought stuffed toys! (ha ha – I know) I have laughed too! I have screamed! I have done some serious journaling! I have prayed! I have been angry – perhaps a bit bitter! I have been very discontent about being single.

Now I will admit, it would be a lie to say that I do not dream of being married. Yes, of course I do. I would love to share my life with a Christian man who I could pray with and love and I have for years prayed for that special person to pray with! I will continue to pray that way – but today I realized something very important.

Today, something inside of me clicked as I had a very real conversation about being single with another person about being single. The question asked – “Are you content, as Rebecca?”

Yes! I am content as Rebecca! I am content to be me, to love God, to be a part of God’s family, to minister in the Salvation Army, to love dogs - perhaps even spoil them, to love going for walks, to do my own thing, to be independent, to love my family and my friends, and to love scrapbooking and playing piano. To be me! But I think what the problem is – since I left Labrador, I have gradually forgot about being Rebecca!
I have forgot that I am still able to be me! I am able to read books (but who really wants to you when you are in school – ha ha). I am able to go for winter walks. I am able to learn knitting. I am able to be me! I am able to totally place my complete trust in Him, and be content.

Today... I can truly say that I have changed my perspective on how I feel as “single”. Although, I will sometimes have a fear of growing old alone - I know I’m weird but you have to remember I do not have siblings and although, I may sometimes wish in officership that it would be nice to have someone stand by my side or discuss items of conflict with, having a man by my side will not make me complete. I am complete as Rebecca, a child of God, called to be a Salvation Army officer. I will be content as single officer, as a person who loves serving her Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. I will be content in knowing Him. Although, I have read Christian living books about being single in the past, I never thought I would be able to say that I agree with them. No matter how “interesting” those books have sounded to me in the past, meaning I did not agree exactly with what they said, I now agree with them.

I am content to be single. I am content to be who I am and I have decided that I do not need anything, only Christ, to make me complete. So as I remain single – scrapbooking whenever I want, walking whenever I want, having whatever dog I want, I will enjoy my singleness to the fullest and remain content in being Rebecca.

This has been a day full of many blessings, a day full of much learning, and day full of much growth. And if or until one day a nice Christian man comes my way who would love to minister with me and we would complement each others ministry, I will still be content in being single and serving God as a single officer in the Salvation Army until that does or does not happen.

Thank you Lord for enabling me to listen today as you spoke through your servant. Thank you Lord for bringing me to do the things that I used to do. Thank you Lord for letting me realize that I am complete without a man, and that being single does not mean that I do not have anything special to share with someone else. May you be with me as I step out on my own to minister. May you give me people to support me in ministry whom I can trust. May you continue to bless my friendships, those at home, and those at college and may you allow me to feel whole in serving you. I love you Lord. Thank you for today!
Amen.